Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DjeePee

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

DjeePee

66Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20124
  • Number of comments : 2183
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DjeePee : I'm DjeePee - not my real name, d'uh - and I live a pretty boring life, with books, series (Dexter, Game of Thrones, Friends, The Walking Dead, Rome), some cups of tea, regular visits to the flea market and museums, lots of antiques, some cats, shitloads of sex with my sweet boyfriend and the dream of having a place of our own.

Last words here: no, English is not my native language.
Really last words here: I can't write short comments.

DjeePee's page activity

Visits<b>missmorggan</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Camwentz</b> - yesterday at 12:41am<b>pureportedpear</b> - yesterday at 9:16am<b>Nahpets</b> - yesterday at 4:38am<b>captain_nessness</b> - yesterday at 3:04am<b>Zeescar</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:39pm<b>cronagorgon</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:48am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:38pm<b>dommiebear</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:54pm<b>SiriusOrionBlack</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:18pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:54am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:29am<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:34am<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:59am<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:00am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:31pm<b>tfigs100</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:01pm<b>Chazwell77</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:28am

Fucked!<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:47pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:34am<b>TheDairyCow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:21pm<b>CharlesEmersonW</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:36pm<b>ItsStratos</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:07pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:43pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:54pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>bhale0112</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:54pm<b>tacogirl</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:59pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:00pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:11pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:39pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:47pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:12am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:17pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:06am

DjeePee's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of DjeePee's badges

DjeePee's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (7539)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

#7644201
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (33209)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

#7605388
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (3836)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:18am - love - by LivingInSin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (4760)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (40086)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (58622)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

#6758302
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (5670)

On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48520) - you deserved it (2675)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28811) - you deserved it (5184)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48404) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39478) - you deserved it (3422)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (25233)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

#6309981
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (5707)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

#6267510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:09am - love - by Kittykatkrunch (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: