Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DjeePee

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

DjeePee

72Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20290
  • Number of comments : 2188
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DjeePee : I'm DjeePee - not my real name, d'uh - and I live a pretty boring life, with books, series (Dexter, Game of Thrones, Friends, The Walking Dead, Rome), some cups of tea, regular visits to the flea market and museums, lots of antiques, some cats, shitloads of sex with my sweet boyfriend and the dream of having a place of our own.

Last words here: no, English is not my native language.
Really last words here: I can't write short comments.

DjeePee's page activity

Visits<b>WillC_04</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Ash1179</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Bleublancrouge</b> - yesterday at 2:37pm<b>XPiemaster</b> - yesterday at 12:45pm<b>KneelToMyPotato</b> - yesterday at 6:05am<b>jsan727</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:30am<b>Matthew86</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:22pm<b>nashks</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:10am<b>jerryj</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:16am<b>ApollosMyth</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:23pm<b>PePziNL</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:17pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:22pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:18pm<b>TommyG493</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:30pm<b>AlbinoThunder_MD</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:36pm

Fucked!<b>Ash1179</b> - 16 hours ago<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:01am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:44pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:42am<b>IcemistDragon</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:24pm<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:57am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:47pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:34am<b>TheDairyCow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:21pm<b>CharlesEmersonW</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:36pm<b>ItsStratos</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:07pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:43pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:54pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>bhale0112</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:54pm<b>tacogirl</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:59pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:00pm

DjeePee's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DjeePee's badges

DjeePee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17624) - you deserved it (43171)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML

#16382753
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (4360)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:54am - love - by fedemere - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

#16141236
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (53748)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

#15632605
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (5402)

On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34671) - you deserved it (3130)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34157) - you deserved it (3483)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65773) - you deserved it (5193)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, my boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary celebration because his ex girlfriend asked him to go to a wedding with her and pose as her fake boyfriend. FML

#13733818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (3810)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:52am - love - by iheartexes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

#13430333
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told the girl I've been seeing for a while about the strong feelings that I have for her and that I was falling in love. She told me my words made her realize what it felt like to be in love. My words were so powerful, in fact, that she ran right back into the arms of her ex boyfriend. FML

#13331586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12739) - you deserved it (26432)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

#12760106
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: