Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DjeePee

Online | Search for a member

DjeePee

16Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18093
  • Number of comments : 2170
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DjeePee : I'm DjeePee - not my real name, d'uh - and I live a pretty boring life, with books, series (Dexter, Game of Thrones, Friends, The Walking Dead, Rome), some cups of tea, regular visits to the flea market and museums, lots of antiques, some cats, shitloads of sex with my sweet boyfriend and the dream of having a place of our own.

Last words here: no, English is not my native language.
Really last words here: I can't write short comments.

DjeePee's page activity

Visits<b>VonBlitzkrieg</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Zach_attack_</b> - 17 hours ago<b>eminemineminem</b> - 23 hours ago<b>vincent1torrez2</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 2:08pm<b>ToySoldier92</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:02am<b>DrCheese</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 10:21am<b>martini47</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:39pm<b>randomname98</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:23am<b>thesadboy</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:59pm<b>ROMAD</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:37pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:09pm<b>BigBoss2230</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:19pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:10am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:21am<b>bchase17</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:19pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:37am

Liked!<b>loludunnomeee</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Eryan2000</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:09pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:16pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:47am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:24pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:14pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:22am<b>dannyayala76</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:01pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:10pm<b>vince12</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:13pm<b>MMalmighty</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:36am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:05am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:40pm<b>stephaniewlntwsk</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:35pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:09am

DjeePee's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of DjeePee's badges

DjeePee's favorite FMLs

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (2631)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML

#17950991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/10/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38823) - you deserved it (6153)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

#17903421
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33772) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

#17847763
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (2377)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (15416)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

#17838179
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:01am - love - by xOdaatx - Australia

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56318) - you deserved it (5565)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85484) - you deserved it (13104)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

#17233163
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9943) - you deserved it (89243)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

#17217334
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (4765)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML

#17125458
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (2869)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm - love - by emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31372) - you deserved it (2871)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37188) - you deserved it (11873)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: