Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20786
  • Number of comments : 2196
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DjeePee : I'm DjeePee - not my real name, d'uh - and I live a pretty boring life, with books, series (Dexter, Game of Thrones, Friends, The Walking Dead, Rome), some cups of tea, regular visits to the flea market and museums, lots of antiques, some cats and the dream of having a place of my own.

Last words here: no, English is not my native language.
Really last words here: I can't write short comments.

DjeePee's page activity

Visits<b>bcofelia</b> - 7 hours ago<b>sstahpp</b> - 18 hours ago<b>blues_traveller</b> - 21 hours ago<b>chr1sF</b> - yesterday at 10:50am<b>serg1018</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 2:28pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:46pm<b>843dude</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:59am<b>felixhdez</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 2:22am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:30am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:59pm<b>abqjfc</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:46pm<b>TheGreatPotato</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:24pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:19pm<b>kayla5797</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 9:37pm<b>goaskalllice</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 9:16pm<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 8:32pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:26pm<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:16pm

Fucked!<b>felixhdez</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:23am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:16am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:57pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 6:22am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:09pm<b>Lukieboo</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>a3gab</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:53am<b>locustbb</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 10:51pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:03pm<b>gopi</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:29pm<b>worstgradesna</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:17pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:57pm<b>valipali</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:25pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:40pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:23pm<b>GIBZOTTA</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Ash1179</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:41am<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:01am

DjeePee's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DjeePee's badges

DjeePee's favorite FMLs

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (3298)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71258) - you deserved it (4592)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50962) - you deserved it (3491)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (72403) - you deserved it (13779)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55870) - you deserved it (3464)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML


I agree, your life sucks (76962) - you deserved it (11028)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73324) - you deserved it (3635)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65370) - you deserved it (5672)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54469) - you deserved it (2761)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (16126)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (2159)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (3825)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (86094) - you deserved it (26559)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: