Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DjeePee

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

DjeePee

66Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20087
  • Number of comments : 2183
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DjeePee : I'm DjeePee - not my real name, d'uh - and I live a pretty boring life, with books, series (Dexter, Game of Thrones, Friends, The Walking Dead, Rome), some cups of tea, regular visits to the flea market and museums, lots of antiques, some cats, shitloads of sex with my sweet boyfriend and the dream of having a place of our own.

Last words here: no, English is not my native language.
Really last words here: I can't write short comments.

DjeePee's page activity

Visits<b>SiriusOrionBlack</b> - 3 hours ago<b>toasty_narwals</b> - 11 hours ago<b>hardesty2904</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Supaviper</b> - 13 hours ago<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - yesterday at 2:59am<b>chandler88</b> - yesterday at 12:00am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:31pm<b>tfigs100</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:01pm<b>Chazwell77</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:28am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:24am<b>outrigger1990</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:51pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:19pm<b>ryannmichael</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:47pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:11pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Pandabae</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:40am

Fucked!<b>toasty_narwals</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Supaviper</b> - 7 hours ago<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - 15 hours ago<b>TheDairyCow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:21pm<b>CharlesEmersonW</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:36pm<b>ItsStratos</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:07pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:43pm<b>EvanescenceLuv</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:54pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:49pm<b>bhale0112</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:54pm<b>tacogirl</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:59pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:00pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:11pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:39pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:47pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:12am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:17pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:06am

DjeePee's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of DjeePee's badges

DjeePee's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57659) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72660) - you deserved it (4110)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

#20837392
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (3850)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm - kids - by sisterly love - United States (California)

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49565) - you deserved it (6238)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (3066)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70093) - you deserved it (4520)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49923) - you deserved it (3387)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69013) - you deserved it (12999)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54394) - you deserved it (3340)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73359) - you deserved it (10123)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69581) - you deserved it (3377)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62184) - you deserved it (5440)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51527) - you deserved it (2549)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47295) - you deserved it (15896)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: