Dixbfloppin

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Dixbfloppin

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1747
  • Number of comments : 284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dixbfloppin : "I am The Destroyer. I destroy things."

-The Destroyer

Dixbfloppin's page activity

Visits<b>The_Buffalo_Lord</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 5:57pm<b>joykiller</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 4:02pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:19pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:51pm<b>calm_smoke</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:37pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:52pm<b>william12421</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:01am<b>anikaelise</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:51pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:47am<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:00pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:10pm<b>hihello18</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Sandsh8rk</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:44pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:27am<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:23pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Flamepelt</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:31pm

Fucked!<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:19am<b>calm_smoke</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:37pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:52am<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:23am

Dixbfloppin's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Dixbfloppin's badges

Dixbfloppin's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

by DarkPhoenix / 12/04/2008 at 6:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

by RaYan / 10/13/2008 at 4:22am / Miscellaneous