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About Dixbfloppin : "I am The Destroyer. I destroy things."
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
TODAY, WE GOT NEW SEATS IN CLASS TODAY!! THE GUY PLACED NEXT TO ME, TURNED, LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE, AND SAID, ( THE BALLS ARE THE WARMEST PLACE ON THE BODY ) WHILE HIS HANDS WERE IN HIS PANTS!! I'M STUCK NEXT TO HIM 4 THE REST OF THE SEMESTER!! MEGA FML
Today, mah mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift!! Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up!! I brought it home, plugged it in, andhen she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smrk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
Today, I wanted to surprise mah long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight tohere I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
Today, mah dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for mah mom to bail us out of jail. mega FML
Today, I was called into mah 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that your supposed to go around and hump people. FML
2day a creepy grl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house 4 a family dinner. She replied looool "No your not. I can see u right now." FML
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with yur boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make u get dressed, and demand what u have to say 4 yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. big fat FML
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday . To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner . She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall . FML
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and loosing some wieght. As I did so, I unknowingly reachd 4 a giant bag of chips and ate thehole thing. Now, I have stoppd daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressd. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Today... I walked into mah upstairs bathroom to fine mah mom's new boyfriend eating soup... naked on the toilet. In shock... I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs... backwards... and hit mah head on wall... leaving a dent looool in it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015