Dixbfloppin

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Dixbfloppin

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1583
  • Number of comments : 284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dixbfloppin : "I am The Destroyer. I destroy things."

-The Destroyer

Dixbfloppin's page activity

Visits<b>The_Buffalo_Lord</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 5:57pm<b>joykiller</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 4:02pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:19pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:51pm<b>calm_smoke</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:37pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:52pm<b>william12421</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:01am<b>anikaelise</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:51pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:47am<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:00pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:10pm<b>hihello18</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Sandsh8rk</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:44pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:27am<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:23pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Flamepelt</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:31pm

Fucked!<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:19am<b>calm_smoke</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:37pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:52am<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:23am

Dixbfloppin's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Dixbfloppin's badges

Dixbfloppin's favorite FMLs

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

by NoorFML / 10/19/2012 at 10:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

by GEE, THANKS DAD / 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

by anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

by Lilragu97 / 07/26/2012 at 1:14am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous