o hai
Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you totally deserved it (2045)
On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you totally deserved it (2192)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
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On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you totally deserved it (2350)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you totally deserved it (3977)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)
Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML
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On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today I switched doctors, from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and proceded to tell them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
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On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you totally deserved it (1515)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36009) - you totally deserved it (4613)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom
Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32312) - you totally deserved it (1710)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML
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On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
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On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend's house to meet her parents. We were having a nice conversation and her mom then asked "What have you done recently that was great?" I replied without thinking "Your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7097) - you totally deserved it (54249)
On 09/03/2009 at 11:38am - love - by butshewasgreat (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a new bike for college. Excited, I decided to go on a bike ride. A couple blocks away, I got hit by a car. The truck pulled over and a man got out and put my bike in his truck and drove off. I had to crawl/limp back home. FML
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On 09/03/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by collegebike (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
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On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
