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Dip_Fartson

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Dip_Fartson
  • Town/Country : St. Louis, MO, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 March 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 21743
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dip_Fartson : o hai

Dip_Fartson's last visitors

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Dip_Fartson's favorite FMLs

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (3690)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (75868)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (3830)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML

#5141424
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37029) - you deserved it (5969)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (5090)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49136) - you deserved it (3247)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52867) - you deserved it (2804)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (7069)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38936) - you deserved it (2454)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53544) - you deserved it (8101)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

#5011183
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (9846)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (12445)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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