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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Dip_Fartson

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Dip_Fartson
  • Town/Country : St. Louis, MO, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 March 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 21141
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dip_Fartson : o hai

Dip_Fartson's last visitors

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Dip_Fartson's favorite FMLs

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (2593)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (57164)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (30597) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML

#5141424 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (4626)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (3870)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (1954)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (40881) - you deserved it (5326)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (2244)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (47857) - you deserved it (6375)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (2053)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I got a new bike for college. Excited, I decided to go on a bike ride. A couple blocks away, I got hit by a car. The truck pulled over and a man got out and put my bike in his truck and drove off. I had to crawl/limp back home. FML

#5012719 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (42878) - you deserved it (1808)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by collegebike (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

#5011183 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (9140)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (12729)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)