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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11435) - you deserved it (3045)
On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16102) - you deserved it (5779)
On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3544) - you deserved it (12276)
On 01/24/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by yacoob - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (1259)
On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (1215)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50184) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (1068)
On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5076) - you deserved it (21832)
On 01/16/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by Gob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16200) - you deserved it (4063)
On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (4233)
On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML
I agree, your life sucks (4980) - you deserved it (18884)
On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)
Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2632) - you deserved it (14425)
On 01/14/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by FUKDOUG - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (34761)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4100) - you deserved it (36617)
On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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