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Dimaranien

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Dimaranien
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31034
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51496) - you deserved it (6997)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (1406)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19415) - you deserved it (4634)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you deserved it (20321)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

#1166
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3475) - you deserved it (19383)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by FUKDOUG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (35650)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5242) - you deserved it (42251)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

#1020
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12692) - you deserved it (2319)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (7540)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I was putting a new lightbulb in when my wife walks into the room and says "you can't see a thing, i'll turn the light on for you". And she did. FML

#981
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18463) - you deserved it (1436)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:35pm - misc - by Christoams - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so give it a try to see what it smells like. It's currently the high season, and so I have quite a few clients standing in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML

#956
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4367) - you deserved it (15179)

On 01/11/2009 at 6:14am - work - by Xav_Cad - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15617) - you deserved it (4620)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version



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