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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (1982)
On 08/29/2009 at 8:13am - misc - by Jonnyboo (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (5813)
On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (3210)
On 08/28/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (5741)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States
Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (40850)
On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (1632)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (7567)
On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (2979)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (4934)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12279) - you deserved it (25350)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28821) - you deserved it (2777)
On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30587) - you deserved it (6282)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (32417)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (34308)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (2784)
On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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