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Dimaranien

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Dimaranien
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30996
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

#4895922
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (7429)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML

#4892263
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (4104)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

#4883657
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you deserved it (51377)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45514) - you deserved it (1981)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

#4877720
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (7612)

On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

#4876384
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by kitchencrime (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (6021)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

#4866921
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14330) - you deserved it (32681)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

#4781162
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34386) - you deserved it (6702)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12112) - you deserved it (40476)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (35604)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML

#4758974
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (6300)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by zboy_123 (man) - India (Haryana)



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