Dimaranien

Search for a member

Dimaranien

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39931
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Dimaranien's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:17pm<b>enotsaras</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:27pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm<b>boricua_4life407</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 10:01pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:36pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 2:36am<b>urbanlegend105</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 3:59am<b>mphsgrl</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 8:47pm<b>jbat04</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 4:54am<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 12:56am<b>FMLK1Pac</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:52pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 10:39am<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 8:47pm

Dimaranien's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

by im_a_mocker / 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

by calikola / 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

by bedrockmike / 01/28/2009 at 9:15am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

by embaressed / 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

by Sally / 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

by thatsjustgreat / 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

by yacoob / 01/24/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

by raybandy / 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

by blahmina / 01/23/2009 at 10:18am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

by dirk855 / 01/18/2009 at 5:29am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous