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Dimaranien

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Dimaranien
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31033
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32913) - you deserved it (21545)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor. For the past year, my stomach would get upset every time I ate. Attempting to ease the pain, I would always eat a piece of bread. My doctor told me I have Celiac disease, which means I'm allergic to gluten. I'm allergic to bread. FML

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (44037)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

#1770130
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46042) - you deserved it (20490)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Mandy - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54330) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

#1759854
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

#1756175
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57491) - you deserved it (2182)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm - work - by lover21 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

#1752202
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (16044)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by ydahs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72247) - you deserved it (22000)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML

#1749870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (5022)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126048) - you deserved it (11795)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91884) - you deserved it (14362)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50673) - you deserved it (3862)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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