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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13160) - you deserved it (79461)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18443) - you deserved it (45408)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45867) - you deserved it (4929)
On 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (1918)
On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51881) - you deserved it (2144)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (7280)
On 05/11/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Manatee (man) - United States (California)
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45558) - you deserved it (7579)
On 05/11/2009 at 8:38am - animals - by prevostsrocklike - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79927) - you deserved it (3525)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (59621)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50055) - you deserved it (3407)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67228) - you deserved it (7604)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I poured myself some punch into a mug I have sitting on a shelf at my studio. Upon tipping it upside down to swallow the last few delicious drops, I see a cluster of mouse droppings stuck to the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40386) - you deserved it (14501)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:10am - health - by kimos (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11141) - you deserved it (30645)
On 05/10/2009 at 6:23am - work - by chocofreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses station, I heard them talking about the "bastard in Room 303." I went on to visit my husband in room 303. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (602)
On 05/10/2009 at 1:38am - health - by LadyLuck (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14519) - you deserved it (36116)
On 05/10/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by torchy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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