Dimaranien

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Dimaranien

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38353
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dimaranien's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:17pm<b>enotsaras</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:27pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm<b>boricua_4life407</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 10:01pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:36pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 2:36am<b>urbanlegend105</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 3:59am<b>mphsgrl</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 8:47pm<b>jbat04</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 4:54am<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 12:56am<b>FMLK1Pac</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:52pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 10:39am<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 8:47pm

Dimaranien's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

by ohdeardarling / 06/14/2009 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

by locksmack / 06/14/2009 at 8:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

by Meg / 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

by Paco4242 / 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

by older / 06/10/2009 at 4:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

by whoahshloann / 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

by jrocks / 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

by morningeyes / 05/19/2009 at 10:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

by anon / 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health