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Dimaranien

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Dimaranien
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30980
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

#2890186
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (22746)

On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

#2888954
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (11595)

On 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by Rainman (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

#2881257
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8915) - you deserved it (42349)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:08am - intimacy - by ohdeardarling (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

#2881104
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (49571)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (54210)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (2098)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

#2864467
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (8716)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76989) - you deserved it (3477)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61422) - you deserved it (3894)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

#2842632
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (66282)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

#2765293
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43473) - you deserved it (2215)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:18am - misc - by older (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18674) - you deserved it (46624)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (52346)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

#2076709
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13913) - you deserved it (82232)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML



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