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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39649
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dimaranien's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:17pm<b>enotsaras</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:27pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm<b>boricua_4life407</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 10:01pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:36pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 2:36am<b>urbanlegend105</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 3:59am<b>mphsgrl</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 8:47pm<b>jbat04</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 4:54am<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 12:56am<b>FMLK1Pac</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:52pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 10:39am<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 8:47pm

Dimaranien's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dimaranien's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

by stupidtoothpick2 / 08/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

by Tiff676 / 08/16/2009 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

by hellnooo / 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML

by baldintheback / 08/15/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

by BFfail / 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML

by animalover / 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

by ForeverEmbarrassed / 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

by JazzSpazz / 08/11/2009 at 2:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

by Entheatus / 08/10/2009 at 12:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML

by shaverguy / 06/15/2009 at 4:51am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

by HatedbyBras / 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

by Rainman / 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous