Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Dianaand_u_4evr : :) Helllo . My speical name is Diiana :) Dont fuck it up .
Am just a girl who likes reading about peoples suckish life and feeling better about my life :D I like being funny, cool, nice, artistic
I basically Like have fun- even if the fun includes Robbing banks, and not helping old people cross the roads and laughing at people wen they fall, Eating peoples food wen they arent looking , Dancing alone, Dancing in public , Laughing for no absoulte reason, not spelling absolute right.
Its not cool for artificial people to come on a site and say shit.
--Rasist, sexist,losers aren't allowed to talk to me
And Jerk-offs shouldn't even think about looking at me
People who don't like Swearing and who doesnt like the wat i talk :) can live with it. :]
Sry, if u consider me rude but Am just saying my opinion
_____YES, I know you think am probbly a hoe but am not - Am not a garden toool - Byeeeee
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML
Friday 17 October 2014