Dhamian5

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Dhamian5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 110
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dhamian5's FML badges

Judgmental

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

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Dhamian5's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

by Why son, why? / 03/20/2013 at 7:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 12:27am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

by yeah / 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, we received our honeymoon itinerary. Our travel agent booked our flight to Punta Cana correctly. Too bad she booked us a hotel in Orlando, Florida. FML

by handymandy / 01/19/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Holidays

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Geek

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

by WTF / 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Kansas) / Love