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DeviousDreamer

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DeviousDreamer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About DeviousDreamer : I fucking hate being woken up.

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DeviousDreamer's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45883) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42146) - you deserved it (6152)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (8929)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (4585)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46910) - you deserved it (11846)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (3837)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (6544)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54072) - you deserved it (6003) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46644) - you deserved it (12630)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (7367)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (7277)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (10396)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74798) - you deserved it (17006)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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