DeviousDreamer

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DeviousDreamer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 567
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About DeviousDreamer : I fucking hate being woken up.

DeviousDreamer's page activity

Visits<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:04pm<b>RBW_Slave</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:19pm

Fucked!<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:04pm

DeviousDreamer's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of DeviousDreamer's badges

DeviousDreamer's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

by PaneraSucks / 02/19/2014 at 1:24am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work