About Despereaux : My life revolves around reading, music, and love. And I love a good tragedy. Fml is about hilarious suckish times for people. Lets just focus on them, and not start pointless stupid fights with people less intelligent than us, because we sink down to their level of stupidity and they will win for more experience in that area. If anyone needs a booster, ill be here. Ive needed that rock too many times. I needed to grow up, but I'm always here for anyone who needs it. In love with Ed Sheeran, Olly Murs, Parachute, Bastille, Harry Potter (books and movies), superwholock, and pretty much any book. I share this account with 6 of my best friends, so we added things each of us liked here. Xoxo, despereaux.
Despereaux's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Despereaux's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML
by nickcedola40 / 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by tkrause / 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML
by HappyBirthdayISuppose / 04/01/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML
by Kjer / 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by nerdgirlmickey / 03/03/2013 at 11:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids
by rani / 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML
by Miki / 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
- Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going… Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it,… Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we…