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Demonfish

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Demonfish

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1714
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Demonfish : I'm here to relieve boredom by laughing at other peoples humerous misfortunes, and occasionally offer condolences when the misfortune is depressing, which is basically what the rest of you are here for.
Generally I try not to take things too seriously, I prefer the place in between silliness and seriousness, so my comments may vary in sensibility, of you have a problem with that, I have but one thing to say to you: "tough shit."
In my as of yet relatively short life, I've been called many things: genius, idiot, insane, wise, wonderful, even beautiful, by one particularly deluded, and stunningly gorgeous girl. I also know a guy who is firmly convinced that I am the Antichrist... well, each to his own, I suppose.

Demonfish's page activity

Visits<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:56pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BananaN0se</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:19pm<b>sirsquab</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:04am<b>ICANTREED</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:18pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:27am<b>megiznerdy</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:07pm<b>hellomynameisthe</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 8:52am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:15pm<b>jh1129</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:40pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:38am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Arjunt</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 6:50am<b>starla_xoxo</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:53pm<b>xCreeNationx</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:03am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:52am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:58pm<b>nygiants1080</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:47am

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Demonfish's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML

#6296943
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (3232)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by runner - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

#6068182
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (8721)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

#5274091
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (2147)

On 09/15/2009 at 3:24pm - money - by Lost (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

#5007844
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36407) - you deserved it (7220)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36181) - you deserved it (4108)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64541) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57692) - you deserved it (4619)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64471) - you deserved it (2786)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (23307)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I colored my hair. It was supposed to turn out blonde, but it became more a mix of red and brown and blonde patches. When I tried coloring everything back, a green tint was added. My hair is at the moment red, brown, blonde and green. FML

#1392760
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (35119)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:39pm - misc - by Fmyhair (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88114) - you deserved it (4874)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

#721624
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68607) - you deserved it (21473)

On 03/31/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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