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Demonfish

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Demonfish

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1793
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Demonfish : I'm here to relieve boredom by laughing at other peoples humerous misfortunes, and occasionally offer condolences when the misfortune is depressing, which is basically what the rest of you are here for.
Generally I try not to take things too seriously, I prefer the place in between silliness and seriousness, so my comments may vary in sensibility, of you have a problem with that, I have but one thing to say to you: "tough shit."
In my as of yet relatively short life, I've been called many things: genius, idiot, insane, wise, wonderful, even beautiful, by one particularly deluded, and stunningly gorgeous girl. I also know a guy who is firmly convinced that I am the Antichrist... well, each to his own, I suppose.

Demonfish's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:56pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BananaN0se</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:19pm<b>sirsquab</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:04am<b>ICANTREED</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:18pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:27am<b>megiznerdy</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:07pm<b>hellomynameisthe</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 8:52am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:15pm<b>jh1129</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:40pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:38am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Arjunt</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 6:50am<b>starla_xoxo</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:53pm<b>xCreeNationx</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:03am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:52am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:58pm

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Demonfish's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21543) - you deserved it (6488)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32543) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

#12842003
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22244) - you deserved it (7992)

On 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm - misc - by nemi (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (7731)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

#10940530
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (6267)

On 06/03/2010 at 8:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (37012)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22335) - you deserved it (2546)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8527) - you deserved it (32890)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4612) - you deserved it (47620)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

#7086130
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43986) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm - work - by manksy (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I decided I was going to do something nice for my parents for Christmas. So, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, baked cookies, and made them both Christmas cards. What did I get in return? They asked me to wrap my four year old sister's presents, and let me know I got nothing. FML

#6927228
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by blkchkrm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (1985)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my wish of having snow on my birthday. Excited, I failed to realise this meant that no one could come to my party, including myself as we were all snowed out of town. What did I spend my 18th doing? Tidying our house. FML

#6881049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (3340)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:15am - misc - by JD300 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML

#6501261
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16085) - you deserved it (35743)

On 11/28/2009 at 8:53pm - misc - by figures - United States

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (3880)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)



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