Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Demonfish

Search for a member

Demonfish

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1874
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Demonfish : I'm here to relieve boredom by laughing at other peoples humerous misfortunes, and occasionally offer condolences when the misfortune is depressing, which is basically what the rest of you are here for.
Generally I try not to take things too seriously, I prefer the place in between silliness and seriousness, so my comments may vary in sensibility, of you have a problem with that, I have but one thing to say to you: "tough shit."
In my as of yet relatively short life, I've been called many things: genius, idiot, insane, wise, wonderful, even beautiful, by one particularly deluded, and stunningly gorgeous girl. I also know a guy who is firmly convinced that I am the Antichrist... well, each to his own, I suppose.

Demonfish's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:56pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BananaN0se</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:19pm<b>sirsquab</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:04am<b>ICANTREED</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:18pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:27am<b>megiznerdy</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:07pm<b>hellomynameisthe</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 8:52am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:15pm<b>jh1129</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:40pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 1:38am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Arjunt</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 6:50am<b>starla_xoxo</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:53pm<b>xCreeNationx</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:03am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:52am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:58pm

Demonfish's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Demonfish's badges

Demonfish's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9972) - you deserved it (61329)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17424) - you deserved it (5721)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (5485)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (2835)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (2382)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (8131)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (35437)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26462) - you deserved it (3493)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

#19099040
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (5197)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:43am - kids - by thatoneperson - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8744) - you deserved it (66049)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (15709)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18987) - you deserved it (9520)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: