Demon_Squirtle

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Demon_Squirtle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 107702
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Demon_Squirtle : I love metal, horror movies, and art.

Demon_Squirtle's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:36pm<b>yonana</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:16pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 2:53pm<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:13am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:20am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:45pm<b>11bGrunT</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:56pm<b>rebellovesong</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:37am<b>melons</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:59pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:30am<b>gej12345</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 3:42pm<b>phew</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:40pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 10:48am<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:56pm<b>LokaS</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 8:03pm

Demon_Squirtle's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Demon_Squirtle's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

by kewlcat / 07/16/2009 at 2:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML

by GettingNone / 06/24/2009 at 11:05pm / Intimacy

Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML

by GettingNone / 06/24/2009 at 11:05pm / Intimacy

Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML

by GettingNone / 06/24/2009 at 11:05pm / Intimacy

Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML

by GettingNone / 06/24/2009 at 11:05pm / Intimacy

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

by Xtine / 06/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 9:32am / Singapore / Kids

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

by loli-conned / 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

by NotSoYoung / 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

by Sylvania / 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

by Kyokushin / 06/03/2009 at 10:15am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous