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Delanto

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member

Delanto

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 235
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Delanto's page activity

Visits<b>Franniee_</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 7:33pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 4:27pm<b>cosmicriver</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:53pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:26am<b>hekkabekka</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:26am<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 11:02pm<b>lucifurby</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:55pm<b>wolflover164</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 11:58am<b>loveuajw</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:33am<b>cypherwars</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:50am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:47am<b>theninjaseal</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:02am<b>megstiel</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Princessuuke</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:38pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:16pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:29pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:05pm<b>MoonlitShadow12</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:47pm

Delanto's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of Delanto's badges

Delanto's favorite FMLs

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (2656)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (7294)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (34034)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (5257)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (6316)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (2797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (4920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

#16384217
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (2866)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by mperh - United States

Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML

#4264438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6446) - you deserved it (55682)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (85926)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14887) - you deserved it (108312)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (66915)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)



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