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DefineAlrep

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DefineAlrep
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 389
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DefineAlrep's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (2638)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11402) - you deserved it (28940)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (4364)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full skit where "Maxie" killed "Nathanial." FML

#10707912
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (7421)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:10am - intimacy - by Maxie-Nathanial - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

#7213754
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8222) - you deserved it (42726)

On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5628) - you deserved it (34743)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (6440)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (4630)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107834) - you deserved it (8044)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113803) - you deserved it (71766)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76504) - you deserved it (4913)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28765) - you deserved it (133823)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)



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