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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (46690)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49249) - you deserved it (9965)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (1668)
On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88760) - you deserved it (9151)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34074) - you deserved it (9039)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (11417)
On 12/04/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (2161)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8553) - you deserved it (61823)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (6319)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98190) - you deserved it (23538)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46158) - you deserved it (3810)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:16am - love - by arsewipe92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40259) - you deserved it (123762)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93934) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78734) - you deserved it (18476)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92331) - you deserved it (27506)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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