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DeathByVanilla

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DeathByVanilla

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DeathByVanilla : Ask Away.

DeathByVanilla's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - yesterday at 11:00pm<b>JCBaseball13</b> - the 04/04/2011 at 4:34am<b>I_iz_B_a_troll</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 8:00am<b>soccerchick_1994</b> - the 03/24/2011 at 6:55pm<b>qtips402</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:07am<b>life_sucks_screw</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 12:22am<b>thatguyyx</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:53pm

DeathByVanilla's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

DeathByVanilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (4536)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44283) - you deserved it (20268)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32485) - you deserved it (2154)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55494) - you deserved it (9867)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

#19754526
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (2239)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (13140)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14574) - you deserved it (36885)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (3612)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23530) - you deserved it (9425)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (7094)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

#16956898
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (5790)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:36am - kids - by dee - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40558) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

#16413890
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34746) - you deserved it (10603)

On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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