About Deadmau5_FML : One Love, One Life.
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Deadmau5_FML's favorite FMLs
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm / United States / Love
by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
by sonofahypocriticalwhore / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
by lovecrisis247 / 12/19/2010 at 2:46am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by sissydlk / 12/02/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her… Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever… Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends…
- Today, I took off my engagement ring to shower (or so I think) because it's too big, considering we… Today, my dad brought in fresh strawberries he picked from his garden in our backyard. They tasted… Today, I was out of breath after finishing my last set at the gym, so I grabbed my bottle of water…