Daschundman

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Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 8:46am)

Daschundman

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1111
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Daschundman : Humour is the world's best medicine... Unless you're dying, then you better go fucking see a doctor.

Daschundman's page activity

Visits<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 6:27am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 8:46am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:37am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:23am<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:18pm<b>NicH1799</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:49pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:05pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:53am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:22pm<b>PainApple</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:20pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:38pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:07am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:25pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Etched</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 6:40pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:29am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:50am<b>Moonunit226</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:24am

Fucked!<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 2:46pm

Daschundman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Daschundman's badges

Daschundman's favorite FMLs

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

by CatLover / 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

by unknown / 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

by Katthebamf / 08/18/2013 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

by FMLdude / 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:12am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

by you're shitting me / 05/27/2013 at 1:05am / Australia / Health

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

by redneckfamily / 05/24/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

by pukishgirl / 11/18/2010 at 7:12am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

by screwed / 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 4:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous