Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Danny_B

Search for a member

Danny_B
  • Town/Country : Wellington, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (39 years)
  • Number of visits : 1859
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Danny_B's last visitors

FreezeRobotatasweet_candy_petrolhead

Danny_B's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Danny_B's badges

Danny_B's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (7370)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (2792)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33511) - you deserved it (8029)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

#14189329
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (5728)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82573) - you deserved it (3840)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8011) - you deserved it (21791)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

#14186357
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27225) - you deserved it (3613)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

#14185892
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (3673)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

#14185511
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by grossed the f out -

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

#14185511
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by grossed the f out -

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

#14185511
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by grossed the f out -

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (3162)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML

#14170475
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30441) - you deserved it (1876)

On 12/11/2010 at 8:55pm - misc - by kingkarnie - United States

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (6343)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

#14164412
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30252) - you deserved it (49763)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: