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Danny_B

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Danny_B
  • Town/Country : Wellington, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (40 years)
  • Number of visits : 2846
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Danny_B's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Danny_B's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

#14244389
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (79177)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (3341)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

#14235030
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (3407)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (11704)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I got a text just before class that my partner didn't finish their half of our 30 page research paper because "That class is stupid". FML

#14213516
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (3374)

On 12/15/2010 at 3:11pm - work - by sam - United States

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

#14212357
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (6265)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by penisgrabber - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to the sound of sirens. My ex-girlfriend, who I had broken up with the day before, had set my car on fire. I had just finished restoring it. I was going to insure it today. FML

#14212180
148 comments

Today, my fiancé told me that he doesn't think cheating is a big deal because everybody does it. FML

#14211763
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (3138)

On 12/15/2010 at 10:07am - intimacy - by mom2010 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

#14209126
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

#14208425
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (8986)

On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

#14199734
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25109) - you deserved it (6637)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by virginat16 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104459) - you deserved it (14016)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)



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