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Danny_B

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Danny_B

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (40 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3722
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Danny_B's page activity

Visits<b>lisslyi</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:39am<b>camyhc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:57am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 6:36pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 9:38am

Danny_B's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

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Danny_B's favorite FMLs

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

#14482279
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34471) - you deserved it (2065)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:49am - money - by Username -

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49092) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49092) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

#14463925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (12881)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7792) - you deserved it (70864)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37966) - you deserved it (7526)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30372) - you deserved it (8897)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

#14458988
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (2500)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

#14451533
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (4451)

On 01/03/2011 at 2:50pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

#14450689
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (4667)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48537) - you deserved it (9814)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

#14442840
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (5830)

On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

#14442840
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (5830)

On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

#14428491
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (4609)

On 01/01/2011 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

#14427516
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)



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