Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Danny_B

Search for a member

Danny_B

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (40 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3825
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Danny_B's page activity

Visits<b>lisslyi</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:39am<b>camyhc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:57am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 6:36pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 9:38am

Danny_B's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Danny_B's badges

Danny_B's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36061) - you deserved it (6303)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37783) - you deserved it (4436)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

#14857654
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (10897)

On 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by UghCats (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52017) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

#14842863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (6382)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68220) - you deserved it (6271)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

#14836412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by unknown -

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

#14836412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by unknown -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69804) - you deserved it (6567)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (3941)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11713) - you deserved it (39151)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (11817)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7980) - you deserved it (41855)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: