Danny_B

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Danny_B

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (42 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5860
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Danny_B's page activity

Visits<b>lisslyi</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:39am<b>camyhc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:57am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:46am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 6:36pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 9:38am

Danny_B's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Danny_B's favorite FMLs

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

by embarassed / 03/20/2011 at 12:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 11:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

by thisblows / 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

by sharni88 / 03/04/2011 at 2:13am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

by unwantedlove / 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm / France / Intimacy