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Danny_B

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Danny_B

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 April 1974 (40 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3637
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Danny_B's page activity

Visits<b>lisslyi</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:39am<b>camyhc</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:57am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 01/07/2011 at 6:36pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 9:38am

Danny_B's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Danny_B's favorite FMLs

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

#15392529
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (9494)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (61913)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18184) - you deserved it (82771)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (8696)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (11204)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (8134)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (46806)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (88642)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107672) - you deserved it (6444) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41657) - you deserved it (3349)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36596) - you deserved it (6532)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (3335)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (2681)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (24996)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (6298)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France



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