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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had to move away to be with his dad, who's just been diagnosed with cancer. After talking to his sister, I discovered that not only is his dad healthy, he's not moving away either; he's just gotten back with his ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26320) - you deserved it (1508)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)
Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8349) - you deserved it (10655)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by higgles15 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (2297)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (1839)
On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (1839)
On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13761) - you deserved it (4434)
On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13761) - you deserved it (4434)
On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19606) - you deserved it (2935)
On 06/03/2012 at 5:23pm - health - by Former Drummer - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9860) - you deserved it (24131)
On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (2226)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (2226)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14253) - you deserved it (2523)
On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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