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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14792) - you deserved it (2374)
On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20806) - you deserved it (905)
On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12921) - you deserved it (17649)
On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (1229)
On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2210)
On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (1993)
On 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (2040)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21573) - you deserved it (1298)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (1679)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is she slept with my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (1740)
On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27787) - you deserved it (3480)
On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34126) - you deserved it (2875)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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