This member hasn't filled in the description.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50656) - you deserved it (3360)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50656) - you deserved it (3360)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (21571)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39439) - you deserved it (6939)
On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (45546)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97224) - you deserved it (56314)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (43069)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37174) - you deserved it (8885)
On 05/31/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by sadwife (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18270) - you deserved it (58262)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (56283)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (17143)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13577) - you deserved it (94077)
On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53487) - you deserved it (8246)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41157) - you deserved it (2008)
On 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (240771) - you deserved it (20518)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:21am - love - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
