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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (1744)
On 01/01/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by Singleton (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (2793)
On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)
Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (3490)
On 12/31/2009 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous. - United States
Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (1791)
On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17603) - you deserved it (6740)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (2252)
On 12/19/2009 at 2:48am - love - by musicyman55 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my sister-in-law told me calmly that she never cared for me, likes her brother's ex more than me, and probably will always dislike me. It was our first serious conversation ever, that I initiated because I wanted to "maintain our great friendship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (1902)
On 12/17/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (4154)
On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (8352)
On 12/05/2009 at 6:24am - misc - by someonesomething - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (9743)
On 12/04/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by wearashirt (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (21657)
On 12/03/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by Sassers (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (1751)
On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (5423)
On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (5710)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (1252)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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