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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6787) - you deserved it (99596)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21191) - you deserved it (1840)
On 03/10/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (38124)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (16227)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (3416)
On 03/09/2012 at 3:30am - health - by Rissa Warrington - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (4879)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10582) - you deserved it (35219)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (15078)
On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (15078)
On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6555) - you deserved it (35736)
On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6555) - you deserved it (35736)
On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (19776)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (6920)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (6381)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:06am - health - by bannana0zoom - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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