Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DanielT1994

Search for a member

DanielT1994

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1753
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.

DanielT1994's page activity

Visits<b>dyehardxen</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:11pm<b>silon5</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:58pm<b>swick25</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:44pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:09am<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:51pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 7:52pm<b>victoryzz</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 3:52am<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:48pm<b>DeadpoolTheta</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 5:07pm<b>OptimusVader</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:42pm<b>PyroTim</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:15pm<b>nisey3313</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:50pm<b>katnissmellark</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 9:19pm<b>jesuslover5000</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:54pm<b>jerrydliner</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:48pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:49pm<b>TheGingerKing</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:25am

DanielT1994's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of DanielT1994's badges

DanielT1994's favorite FMLs

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

#3143801
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43119) - you deserved it (3353)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by stew (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

#3117868
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (17225)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

#3088891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35167) - you deserved it (15572)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

#3073543
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56700) - you deserved it (15707)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13442) - you deserved it (56604)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (42634)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (42634)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (42634)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

#2963947
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (5987)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44923) - you deserved it (8734)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

#2655825
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44687) - you deserved it (6390)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52701) - you deserved it (5993)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

#2223599
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39323) - you deserved it (3507)

On 05/23/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

#1719751
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (3887)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm - work - by nojob (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: