Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DanielT1994

Search for a member

DanielT1994

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1509
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.

DanielT1994's page activity

Visits<b>dyehardxen</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:11pm<b>silon5</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:58pm<b>swick25</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:44pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:09am<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:51pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 7:52pm<b>victoryzz</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 3:52am<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:48pm<b>DeadpoolTheta</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 5:07pm<b>OptimusVader</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:42pm<b>PyroTim</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:15pm<b>nisey3313</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:50pm<b>katnissmellark</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 9:19pm<b>jesuslover5000</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:54pm<b>jerrydliner</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:48pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:49pm<b>TheGingerKing</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:25am

DanielT1994's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of DanielT1994's badges

DanielT1994's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML

#6198719
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48299) - you deserved it (5615)

On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17666) - you deserved it (4746)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15240) - you deserved it (8950)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (8720)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

#5869946
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14327) - you deserved it (36998)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States

Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

#5743419
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (1789)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by sofked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

#5494744
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7637) - you deserved it (58453)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59229) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37878) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (6001)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

#5185594
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39085) - you deserved it (5929)

On 09/11/2009 at 10:48am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13314) - you deserved it (48647)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13314) - you deserved it (48647)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44467) - you deserved it (5079)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: