About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.
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DanielT1994's favorite FMLs
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
by ohno / 03/10/2010 at 6:05am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML
by 3Airwalk3 / 02/16/2010 at 12:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML
by ummmmEW / 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by MafiaWarsWidow / 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek
Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML
by hotandbothered / 02/03/2010 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
by shallowvomit1013 / 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML
by Goosey / 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Bill / 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML
by Furry / 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
by Sam / 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by John / 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm / United States / Love