Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML
Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
Friday 14 November 2014