About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.
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DanielT1994's favorite FMLs
by gumless / 05/02/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Health
by tillyg15 / 05/02/2012 at 7:18am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by BoomHeadshot / 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 4:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by monkeywrench / 05/01/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Love
Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML
by tandc / 05/01/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon.… Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my… Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when…