About DanielT1994 : I'm well into my second semester at American River College. I'm working on learning Italian because my family doesn't speak it anymore. I plan on majoring in Criminal Justice. If I offend you, I do apologize; the comments I make are related to who I am, and I, as well as you are, am shaped by things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. I love video games and science fiction. I love animals, but they can be annoying. I can be cold, but I generally try to be a kind man. I mainly go on this application between 0600 and 0700 before class and then whenever else I can. Puns are my favorite type of joke. I'm a very sarcastic man. I have no sympathy for teenagers that disrespect their parents and the rules of the house. Stupidity can be very bothersome to me. I try to live by a moral code. If you would like to contact me, do as you wish.
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DanielT1994's favorite FMLs
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2012 at 12:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by catherineratley / 05/06/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
by grovage / 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…