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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 28121
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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DamnGoodTimes's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 7:44am<b>xshadowfigure89x</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Silvinomiae</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:12pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:40am<b>SuparSerial</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 7:00pm<b>PurpleN1nj4</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 1:46pm<b>chubs</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:42pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:48pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 1:21pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 11:36am<b>nafur15</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:52am<b>CaptainJellyBean</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 1:03am<b>pewpz</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 10:56pm<b>gtrfreak182</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 9:25pm<b>RyeBreadBoy</b> - the 03/12/2009 at 6:45pm<b>Grilledcheese</b> - the 03/11/2009 at 2:02am<b>sweeetboy</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 8:35am<b>RawrToast</b> - the 03/06/2009 at 11:49pm

DamnGoodTimes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DamnGoodTimes's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

by Laceylace / 03/22/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

by ThanksMa / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

by trina / 03/22/2009 at 5:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

by TANT / 03/22/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

by Myriam / 03/22/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by joshinbaltimore / 03/22/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

by clementine_k / 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work