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DamnGoodTimes

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DamnGoodTimes
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 20239
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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DamnGoodTimes's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (104989)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (61407)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10231) - you deserved it (101617)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58628) - you deserved it (4145)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (75147)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

#303053
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75859) - you deserved it (7134)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15811) - you deserved it (174236)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

#290845
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84373) - you deserved it (3489)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128590) - you deserved it (19248)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15321) - you deserved it (65082)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240627) - you deserved it (36566)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (93917)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133782) - you deserved it (14709)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML

#280040
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (8717)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48822) - you deserved it (300012)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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