DamnGoodTimes

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DamnGoodTimes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27976
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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DamnGoodTimes's page activity

Visits<b>xshadowfigure89x</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Silvinomiae</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:12pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:40am<b>SuparSerial</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 7:00pm<b>PurpleN1nj4</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 1:46pm<b>chubs</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:42pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:48pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 1:21pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 11:36am<b>nafur15</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:52am<b>CaptainJellyBean</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 1:03am<b>pewpz</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 10:56pm<b>gtrfreak182</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 9:25pm<b>RyeBreadBoy</b> - the 03/12/2009 at 6:45pm<b>Grilledcheese</b> - the 03/11/2009 at 2:02am<b>sweeetboy</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 8:35am<b>RawrToast</b> - the 03/06/2009 at 11:49pm

DamnGoodTimes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DamnGoodTimes's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

by Jonnygiant / 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

by Bamamomma01 / 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

by Misc. / 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

by nowthatsfcked / 03/13/2009 at 9:18am / Canada / Love

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

by Jaeda / 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

by Jobless / 03/12/2009 at 5:01am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work