Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DamnGoodTimes

Search for a member

DamnGoodTimes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22581
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DamnGoodTimes's page activity

Visits<b>xshadowfigure89x</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Silvinomiae</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:12pm<b>SuparSerial</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 7:00pm<b>PurpleN1nj4</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 1:46pm<b>chubs</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:42pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:48pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 1:21pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 11:36am<b>nafur15</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:52am<b>CaptainJellyBean</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 1:03am<b>pewpz</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 10:56pm<b>gtrfreak182</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 9:25pm<b>RyeBreadBoy</b> - the 03/12/2009 at 6:45pm<b>Grilledcheese</b> - the 03/11/2009 at 2:02am<b>sweeetboy</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 8:35am<b>RawrToast</b> - the 03/06/2009 at 11:49pm

DamnGoodTimes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DamnGoodTimes's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72790) - you deserved it (27245)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112953) - you deserved it (15915)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (72942)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (506240) - you deserved it (35105)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (506240) - you deserved it (35105)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

#333787
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76326) - you deserved it (39468)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (3002)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (290116)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81465) - you deserved it (6918)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

#323384
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70816) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

#323384
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70816) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171234) - you deserved it (21444)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80786) - you deserved it (5684)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (184073)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86832) - you deserved it (7447)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: