DamnGoodTimes

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DamnGoodTimes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27387
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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DamnGoodTimes's page activity

Visits<b>xshadowfigure89x</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Silvinomiae</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:12pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 12:40am<b>SuparSerial</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 7:00pm<b>PurpleN1nj4</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 1:46pm<b>chubs</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:42pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:48pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 1:21pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 11:36am<b>nafur15</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:52am<b>CaptainJellyBean</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 1:03am<b>pewpz</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 10:56pm<b>gtrfreak182</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 9:25pm<b>RyeBreadBoy</b> - the 03/12/2009 at 6:45pm<b>Grilledcheese</b> - the 03/11/2009 at 2:02am<b>sweeetboy</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 8:35am<b>RawrToast</b> - the 03/06/2009 at 11:49pm

DamnGoodTimes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DamnGoodTimes's favorite FMLs

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

by lice / 03/28/2009 at 9:34am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

by Anon. / 03/28/2009 at 4:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

by hospitalflunky / 03/28/2009 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I finally decided to tell him I love him. He told me that he loved me too... like a sister! The love of my life has been sleeping with his "sister" for three months. FML

by Samsonites / 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

by Jim / 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

by Crampon / 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

by unitywoods / 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

by 1234567898765432 / 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

by Spawn_of_Satan / 03/27/2009 at 11:18am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

by Spawn_of_Satan / 03/27/2009 at 11:18am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous