This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50076) - you totally deserved it (2817)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83220) - you totally deserved it (7568)
On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my over-protective mom decided to do a blacklight test on my room to make sure I wasn't doing the naughty in my bed. The bed was clean. My face wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you totally deserved it (70560)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:11am - intimacy - by crzyl8buddhist (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51576) - you totally deserved it (8173)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML
I agree, your life sucks (78204) - you totally deserved it (1773)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally decided to tell him I love him. He told me that he loved me too... like a sister! The love of my life has been sleeping with his "sister" for three months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49196) - you totally deserved it (2734)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Samsonites (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you totally deserved it (52991)
On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (68090) - you totally deserved it (11164)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (5467) - you totally deserved it (73064)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend decided to strip me naked and blindfold me, then told me I'd get a reward if I caught her. So I ran around naked and blindfolded till I caught her, and then I yelled, "I want my prize on the kitchen table!" It was her mom who'd just got back from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65077) - you totally deserved it (20677)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by pdjordan (man) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45483) - you totally deserved it (14764)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55663) - you totally deserved it (2178)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56723) - you totally deserved it (8839)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake I ask him jokingly why he isnt wearing red. He looks at me weird and says "Oh... you didnt get my text?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67038) - you totally deserved it (2102)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you totally deserved it (48659)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
