About DahkLohd : I don't have a nose.
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DahkLohd's favorite FMLs
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
by Saberwolf / 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2011 at 4:14pm / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML
by LonelyBoy / 02/01/2011 at 8:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
by Stormbringer / 02/01/2011 at 1:37am / Miscellaneous
by effingdoucher / 01/30/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML
by brrrr that's cold! / 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by shouldveknown / 01/27/2011 at 3:15pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
by Username / 01/27/2011 at 12:40pm / Romania (Ilfov) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by 123roomielover / 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by everfresh / 01/26/2011 at 5:38am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my…